Another problem is the pressure to marry due to age. If the couple are not financially sound as to be able to live and stay alone, they may be tempted to stay in their parents’ home. On the other hand a working couple with children who allow their parent to live as nanny permanently or semi-permanently with them may also be inviting interference or domination by parents and /or in-laws. A student couple still depending on in-laws and parents for fees and other maintenance allowance can’t but be controlled by the donor. Gifts could be a bait, impatience could enslave, bad planning could be dangerous, without leaving you will remain forever bound. A country is never independent until she has escaped the domination of her masters by peace or struggle. You must start by leaving, then you can go to a higher step of cleaving. [...]
Imagine yourself, faced with a sobbing lady who had come for counselling. Having prayed with her, you listened very patiently to her as she shares her problem with you. All of a sudden as if to sandwich the weeping, she broke down with these words only: “My in-laws are dominating.” Surely you will wonder why, how and to what extent is this allegation true. A proof of the fact that any married couple is prone to have this problem is that, almost all intending couples are always warned against the interference of the outsiders especially the in-laws. We would examine the causes of this problem, its effect on the Christian home and the remedy for this cancer of the unwise Christian home. [...]
(F) MARRIED YET APART
There was the question of a couple not living together. The husband was an undergraduate in the University and the wife a village teacher. As a village teacher, most weekend expenses had to deal a heavy blow to her purse by way of transport fare, apart from the husband who needed plenty of money to maintain him. [...]
(B) PLEDGE MAKING
A member of a Christian couple attended a Christian gathering and felt lifted high in the spirit with no consideration for the partner who was absent from the meeting, made a pledge that she was going to donate her next salary for God’s work. By the end of the month she carried out her pledge. But the husband was disturbed greatly, realizing the number of children they had to cater for as well as other dependants and other needs. For the first time in their married life, the husband had to speak in a harsh way and the wife exclaimed, “So money is dividing us so soon! Why all the bullying on me? On that day they had to look at each other’s face. I will leave you in suspense to consider the extent to which the devil could use such a situation against the couple’s unity, all because of not counting the cost before making her pledge. Luke 14: 28-30. Definitely, there is need for adjustment when one is married. Here I would not say it is money, only dividing them but also lack of proper planning. [...]
“Too often, scraping together and heaping up riches debases the mind, destroys godly traits and endues with selfishness, pride and avarice which ends in perdition.” The above is Dake’s comment on 1 Tim.6:9-10.
Reading again the same chapter verses 6-7, makes it clear to us the need to be satisfied with what we have and emphasizes that just as we came into the world naked, so we will return without any of these worldly materials, when our life here is over.
In the book of Haggai 2:8 we read that silver and gold belong to God. It is high time Christians realized that the love of money can be a tool of the devil. Without this realization, there will continue to be biting and devouring of one another even in the same home which may result in disaster if prayerful solution is not sought before it is too late. [...]
There shall be several parts to our discussion on this new topic. Some people may be considering in their minds, “How is this topic relevant to my situation since my wife and I are from the same tribe or same country? And for bachelors and spinsters, you might have taken a position that “I will choose a partner from my own tribe.” That’s o.k. But as the discussion progresses, everybody will agree with me that we all need a good understanding of these cross-cultural principles to help make our marriage relationships better and more romantic. What then is the first principle?
The girl child is a GIFT from God to the family where she belongs, and so she should be treated with love, tenderness and care. The family is not complete until a woman is enlisted, Adam was not a complete man until God brought mother Eve into his life. It is written in the Bible, "And Adam gave names to all cattle...But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him."(Gen.2:20) God, the creator, knew how important a female specie is, so "the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man He made into a woman", the genesis of "the female child." Since this specie is so precious in God's sight, my question is, "How should she be treated? [...]
In marriage relationships, challenges abound! Some manage them well, others chicken out because of frustration. In dealing with conflicts in marriage, the couple must take cognizance of certain things. An old wise man once told me during an interview that whenever there is any misunderstanding between him and his wife, the way God has been helping them is simple, "while daddy is the goat, mummy becomes a sheep, and vice-versa!" What he was trying to say is that both of them do not lose their temper at the same time and blow off the roof of the house. Anger is a deadly weapon. One partner should not flare up in anger and utter terrible words that he or she will regret afterwards. Calm down. Flee from anger. Lie down on your bed and begin to talk to God your father in heaven, to help you resolve the conflict at such a time. PEACE [...]
One day I went to visit a friend in her office, and while waiting for her, I began to chat with her secretary. It was during a lunch-break so I engaged her in a discussion on marriage. I tried to ask few questions about her plans for the future, specifically her dreams about the man she would love to marry. Initially she was very relaxed during the interaction, but as the discussion progressed, I noticed that her countenance changed and she was no longer interested in our discussion. I then asked her what happened that she suddenly became withdrawn. She told me pointedly, “In all honesty I have no plans for marriage.” She said further, “I am alright with my single state, what do I need a husband for. All men are hypocrites after all. I would rather face my future without any intimate relationship with any man, called husband. I am o.k” [...]
Many people are connected to any married couple who have chosen divorce as an option- children, mother, father, uncles, aunties, nephews, nieces, brothers, sisters-in-law etc. When decisions are about to be reached about calling it quits, it will be ideal to think beyond you. Care for the hurts your children and other significant others are about to be exposed to. Some ‘wounds’ may never get healed. [...]